Cop a feel and die!

As most of you haven’t actually been to one of our audition or maybe even a studio audition, I thought you might be interested in learning how we play it: After about seven thousand emails and telephone calls to make sure the contestant is attending the audition and to give them instructions on where we are located, they finally (in some cases!) turn up. Once with us we introduce ourselves to them – there is never more than 5 of us – and then I run through some legal requirements and explain what will be happening – all clear so far?

After that I hand them over to the Executive Producer – Dean - who, together with the 2nd cameraman/photographer – Sean – settle the contestant down and introduce him to the Jury Member who is with us. They are then filmed having a conversation with Fred/Luke/Jesse..whoever, and are then finally invited to wank off!

This is done in a private room with just them and Dean (Sean pops in from time to time to take photos). While in this room, they can use a toy, watch a video, lube up etc – anything they want to make their wank session enjoyable and ultimately good enough to get them through to the Final.

Now, this is where it can get funny! You see some contestants think that having Dean in the room with them means that he too will be whopping his cock out and having fun; some contestants actually think its fine to ‘cop a feel’ of the aforementioned cock that belongs to Dean. Some see him as a participant in the whole thing – WRONG!!!!!

Let me make it clear motherfuckers – Dean is off limits – he, his cock and his sexual urges belong to me – and have done for the last 10 years or so. So, if I find another contestant grabbing my partners cock – Ill cut both his and the contestants dicks off and sauté them with some flageolet beans and serve them for lunch with a bottle of Chianti as a very wise man once said!

Seriously, I’m only joking – we are partners and we know this sort of thing is bound to happen but we are absolutely clear about our feelings on joining in on auditions/filming scenes – WE NEVER DO IT as we don’t feel its professional and ultimately sets a very poor standard. We know of other studios that do ‘help’ the performer, but it’s not for us I’m afraid. We don’t have the type of relationship that allows one of us to be actively involved in a filmed sex scene with a stranger (or otherwise) while the other is drinking coffee in the other room – sometimes it would be better if we did!
That all said, I find it very funny when stuff like this happens as it provides me with great fodder for this blog – although I’m not sure Dean appreciates the spin-off’s from being felt up by an over sexed foreigner at the time of the assault!

Love, Peace & Porn