BLANKS

Some of you may have noticed the appearance of some BLANKS in the updates Ive posted - its weird I know, but I had an objection from someone who works/ed for a company that was involved with the project recently - phew!
They screamed at me, called me lots of nasty names (as I did too!) and I caved in. The thing that really motivated me was a statement used: the objector said that 'He controlled the Press in America' (it was later changed to 'He controlled the GAY Press in America'). Well, Im not big enough or strong enough to take on someone who '..controls the press' regardless of where in the world this control is based! Hell no, I know when Im beat!
So, rather than have our little European project blacklisted by the whole of the press in one of the largest countries in the world; rather than have our name, the name of our company; project and contestants appear on some 'Print them and Die' list, I though it better to just blank out any reference to the person/company and country - call it my good deed for the day!
For now that is!

Dont wake sleeping giants!

So like I told you, I heard back from the BLANK the other day: he finally replied to an email we sent him nearly four months go! However his recent ranting had nothing to do with our mail, apparently he has found and read the blog and to say he is pissed off would be an understatement!
I came across the emails by accident as the silly rabbit had sent his moans, groans and empty threats to our old account – I wish he would have replied via the blog page as I would have been able to share with you his pointless vexing! It appears he is pissed off at me/us as apparently we are organising a scam – what the fuck is it with faggots we don’t get on with; do they all read the same books or something? How can this fucking project – that has taken over our complete lives for the past 18months and is still current be a scam? How can a project that is still updating its website FOR FREE be a scam? How can you describe a project that is now putting in place its second year’s activity as fake? I don’t get it – how thick can some people be?
Anyway, the little twat is pissed off with the things I said about him; and it took him 4 emails over the period of one night to tell me how pissed off he was! It was like a prolonged rant that broke off from time to time to allow the keyboard to cool down; he got progressively illiterate and by the final email nothing made sense! I was nearly passing out from laughing!
The whole rant spotlighted the blog page; it made no reference to the insults I have levelled at him via the BLANK he BLANK/BLANKED for – I can’t wait till that email find its way to him, it will be like opening one of the letters Mrs Weesley sends to Ron in Harry Potter: all feathers and spitting and screams!
He is obviously a loony BLANK; he keeps interspersing his messages with sayings: ‘Don’t wake sleeping giants’ For fuck sake, what planet is this guy from – who the fuck does he think he is the fucking CIA? Well Mr Sleeping Giant, I have a saying for you: ‘Don’t fuck with a faggot!’...oh and another one has just sprung to mind: ‘Kiss my arse, motherfucker!’
LPP
XX

Revenge is Sweet!

How many times have I said: 'Hell has no fury like a gay man scorned'?

Is this the face of Europes Next Gay Porn Star? Really, you be the judges. Tell me if you think this is the face we should invest our time and money in - you tell me if you would like to have him (his name is James btw) on your pc screens at 2.30am staring out at you as you beat your monkey until its sick?

I think James needs some encouragement and I'd be only too pleased to forward you his details so you can email/chat to each other! Just be aware he is a little tempremental and has a tendancy to say nasty things to you and then slam the phone down!

There's a lesson in this to all you potential candidates: don't apply to be Europe's Next Gay Porn Star when you are feeling horny! Chances are that when all the blood has returned from its day trip to Cocksville, you'll change your mind! My advice would be: take a day to think about what you are doing!

In the meantime .... revenge is sweet mother fuckers!

Mr Orang-utan 2009!

So this is one of the little beauties I mentioned in my last update. This fine example of a man hails from the UK (aren't we the lucky ones!) and is wait for it...23 years old. Mr O-u-Tan thinks he is ideally suited to a life in porn, and we agree hence we forwarded his application and picture onto 'Farmyard Sluts'!

Dear God help me!

LPP
x

Its been a while my little bum chums and I've missed you!

I’m sorry my little wank chums that I’ve been away from the nest for a while as we have been moving office and setting up a studio of sorts – sounds hard enough but when you add to the mix BSkyB, it becomes a total nightmare. How badly can a company fuck something up before it becomes personal? No joke, I was telephoning their offices so often they actually told me to stop harassing them or they would terminate our agreement!
Anyway, we are now kinda sorted – just some nice gay things to do, like furnishings etc etc and we will have a very comfortable office and studio from which to launch our demi-emipre – can’t wait!!
So, what you are going to get from me now is a daily up date so that by the time we start filming again – in 7 days – you will be fully up to date and on my level.
The website has/is still been updated – although at a slightly slower rate than normal, which is purely down to the fact that we were running out of footage to give you as we had been updating so often! But regular viewing will be restored as soon as we start the final leg of auditions next week, which will be closely followed by the Final which is being hosted from the 22 to the 25 September!
Obviously a few interesting things have happened since we took a forced holiday from you guys, all of which will be written about in full and with some very frank comments from me:
1. I heard from the BLANK. NOT a happy bunny to tell you the truth. Problem is it looks like he’s read this page and has taken offence at some of my comments. He has clearly missed the humour and high-jinks in which I wrote all about my time with him and it saddens (aka pisses me off) me that the miserable piece of shit thinks I give a flying fuck about what he thinks! The overwhelming emotion I had when I saw his email was pity which lasted all of1/8th of a nano-second. He is such a tosser. Like I’m going to stop writing about him now he’s asked me to – fuck off. I’m going to get at least 12 more blog updates out of that cunt if it kills me, and if he asks me one more time to stop mentioning him, Ill fucking name and shame the twat in full – email address and telephone number included!
2. The final two BLANK we had involved have now had their agreements come to an end – thanks fucking God! What total BLANK – the pair of them. I’m telling you, on this issue I am VERY tempted to name names – they are such wankers everyone needs to know just in case you ever approach them for involvement – unlikely I know, but there is an element of therapy for me involved in writing this blog – so put up and shut up fuckers!
3. Some of the people we auditioned have turned into gay men with cunts! I’m telling you, only in the gay world of porn could faggots who spent their lives on the dole, playing with themselves on MSN for FREE, suddenly in a global recession, decide they won’t take their clothes off for less that £600! Fucking hell, I would take my clothes off for that!
4. Big Brother. We are fans, but if any of you fuckers vote for Charlie, Ill hunt you down. He is the absolute essence of what makes me puke about gay ‘men’. GET THE FUCKER OUT! I just knew he worked in a call centre; he is perfect for it: thick, arrogant and stupid!
5. Daytime TV. I think it should be banned. It’s like a drug; it lulls you into a comforted state with its one-ff programmes and the next thing you know you’re recording the whole fucking series – it’s VERY dangerous!
6. We are launching our own site in the New Year: Cock on the Road, so Ill fill you in on more details about that over the next few weeks. I might be able to show you some previews – I’ll ask! Its different to ENGPS – yes, the lads are ‘boy-next-door’ types, yes the lads will be from Europe, but the best bit is they will be fucking in real places as we travel about with the project – we are trying to make it the contestant’s first paid jobs!
7. Contestant who need medicating! I know we only have ourselves to blame for hosting a project inviting members of the public to send in their details in the hopes they will break through into the gay porn market. I know we are inviting weirdo's to take a pot-shot at us/our site and our nearest and dearest but dear lordy lord, even I wasn't prepared for the latest applications we got through. I'm just wondeing if a new magazine has been launched: 'WindowLickers Unite'? One of them looks like a shaved orang-utan and the other one looks reasonably hot, but when I spoke to him he was pissed off 'coz I didn't want to buy drugs and made me fear for my life! - I'm telling you friends, you really need to spend a few days living my life: its weird!

Sponsors – Yet another one bites the dust!

As some of you might already know – I’m not a huge fan of some of our old sponsors and this section is like a valve on the pressure cooker of ENGPS! Well my little bum-chums, I’m taking the opportunity to let off some more steam and vent my delight at yet another cunt faced sponsor biting the dust!

Yep, as of the 1st of July, we no longer have the pointless involvement of the BLANK that were responsible for sending me that pasty-faced, pot smoking cunt of a BLANK, and I’ve just sobered up from celebrating their demise. I know its nasty to say, and I’m sure my karma will suffer, but fuck it: I hope they suffer, I’m not choosy about how – unemployment/illness/family bereavement – whatever, just make it long, slow and public (or at least make sure I hear of it!).

The problem I have is their BLANK(another mysterious BLANK that doesn't name BLANK on the website or ever appear on BLANK) also owns a BLANK in the BLANK and they have the licence for BLANK, so every time I hear it I’m reminded of the thick, fagotty, tit-faced BLANK. One very good reason not to own a BLANK!

Anyway, one more BLANK hits the deck – just one more to go and I’m counting the days!

Peace, Love, Porn
(FYI: This section does not involve Eurocreme or Alphamale!LOL)

Laurent - Solo Scene

Laurent - Interview

Paris – J’adore!

There is something about Paris and France in general that just makes me feel warm and at ease! I know the French can be surly and arrogant, but I can’t blame them; they have great food, a stunning capital city; shit-hot language and in my opinion some of the best looking men in the world – Oh God I’m going to get it now from everyone else but I hasten to add that it’s MY OPINION mother-fuckers so zip it!

No, it’s a great country and a stunning capital, which brings me on to the hugely successful recent visit we made there a few weeks ago for some auditions: Fred Faurtin joined us – he lives in Paris with his boyfriend Gil and I have to say they are two of the nicest people you could meet. We located ourselves in an apartment near the Marais district and I don’t know if it was the typically Parisian street we were on, the 3 balconies we had, the fantastic weather or the interesting and diverse applicants but the whole visit was great!

You will have to check the website for the various dates for the applicant auditions, but I can tell you we had a few people in Paris that you will be seeing at the Final. We also had an interesting issue raised while we were there but I’ll cover that in a few days time.

Peace, Love, Porn

ENGPS Day 1

Akim - Interview (en Francais!)

Cop a feel and die!

As most of you haven’t actually been to one of our audition or maybe even a studio audition, I thought you might be interested in learning how we play it: After about seven thousand emails and telephone calls to make sure the contestant is attending the audition and to give them instructions on where we are located, they finally (in some cases!) turn up. Once with us we introduce ourselves to them – there is never more than 5 of us – and then I run through some legal requirements and explain what will be happening – all clear so far?

After that I hand them over to the Executive Producer – Dean - who, together with the 2nd cameraman/photographer – Sean – settle the contestant down and introduce him to the Jury Member who is with us. They are then filmed having a conversation with Fred/Luke/Jesse..whoever, and are then finally invited to wank off!

This is done in a private room with just them and Dean (Sean pops in from time to time to take photos). While in this room, they can use a toy, watch a video, lube up etc – anything they want to make their wank session enjoyable and ultimately good enough to get them through to the Final.

Now, this is where it can get funny! You see some contestants think that having Dean in the room with them means that he too will be whopping his cock out and having fun; some contestants actually think its fine to ‘cop a feel’ of the aforementioned cock that belongs to Dean. Some see him as a participant in the whole thing – WRONG!!!!!

Let me make it clear motherfuckers – Dean is off limits – he, his cock and his sexual urges belong to me – and have done for the last 10 years or so. So, if I find another contestant grabbing my partners cock – Ill cut both his and the contestants dicks off and sauté them with some flageolet beans and serve them for lunch with a bottle of Chianti as a very wise man once said!

Seriously, I’m only joking – we are partners and we know this sort of thing is bound to happen but we are absolutely clear about our feelings on joining in on auditions/filming scenes – WE NEVER DO IT as we don’t feel its professional and ultimately sets a very poor standard. We know of other studios that do ‘help’ the performer, but it’s not for us I’m afraid. We don’t have the type of relationship that allows one of us to be actively involved in a filmed sex scene with a stranger (or otherwise) while the other is drinking coffee in the other room – sometimes it would be better if we did!
That all said, I find it very funny when stuff like this happens as it provides me with great fodder for this blog – although I’m not sure Dean appreciates the spin-off’s from being felt up by an over sexed foreigner at the time of the assault!

Love, Peace & Porn

Audition updates

As you all know, I’ve been updating this blog page for a few weeks now in its current format and I think it’s working. One thing I’ve noticed that is lacking is the inclusion of some videos so I’m going to include some of these from now on – yippee I hear you all saying!

As all audition footage is free on the main site, I think it will be a good idea to include some previews of updates – weeks before they are put on the site so you can get your little winkies all wet and ready, and some never before seen footage (not long) of contestants interviews/auditions. Finally, I’d like to include some other videos – perhaps previews of Sponsors new vids, I’ll ask them – and some of our favourite wank fodder videos (most of mine are vintage or have that feel to them!.

So, to launch this ground-breaking new format (not!) I’ m attaching a preview of one of the French contestants – Akim, whom we interviewed and auditioned in Paris in May. He was ill the weekend we saw him and I thought it was a testament to his commitment (or insanity, as he did come across as a little intense!) that he kept to his appointment and actually delivered quite a good wank scene.

His audition film is available on the project website on the 3rd of July - enjoy!

L, P & P

Akim, French Contestant

Amsterdam – alone and not even high!

We were on our way back home from Amsterdam a while ago –we’ve been loads of times and LOVE it – and we were on the same flight as Kerry Katona travelling with her then bf Mark. I thought she was a total diva – loud, ‘I’m a celebrity, look at me..don’t look’, rude, ignorant and ugly without make-up. It was funny as we were travelling Easyjet and she’d really pushed the boat out and upgraded to ‘Speedy Boarding’! Best thing was, when they took their seats on the plane they took the very front row as they thought they would be reserved for celebs – NOT! They were the disabled seats reserved for cripples! LOL

I always think of her when I talk about Amsterdam –I don’t mind really as I quite like her even if I did laugh at her expense. Anyway, this has nothing to do with the last time we were in Amsterdam! We were hosting the Netherlands auditions in October last year – yep the nob-head BLANK was with us even if we didn’t see him for the whole trip – thank God!

No joke – this was the quickest audition trip we had made – two days and 8 applicants. Not one of them turned up, not even the two performers who had been sent from BLANK – BLANK – to act as Judges showed up for any auditions. I honestly think everyone was so whacked out from the UK, Germany and CZ visits they all just hit the cafes and smoked themselves high for two days! I wish we fucking well had!

Anyhoo, we are re-visiting Amsterdam and the Netherlands – personally I really like the Dutch guys – in June, this time with the very fuckable Eurocreme twink Philippe Delvaux (I wonder if we could get him high and play with his cock without him objecting or demanding cash?) So if any of you are reading this and wanna apply – maybe try your luck with Philippe – get filling out the application form:

http://www.europesnextgaypornstar.com/members_area/Apply.html

FYI: We never got to meet any of the BLANK during or after this trip – which was a little of a shame as BLANK and BLANK were nice guys. Their BLANK was a total loser – I know its sick but I was following the papers during this time to see if he had clashed with anyone else and ended up in one of the canals – alas not!

Love, Peace & Porn

Live my life - see how you like it motherfuckers!

So I was taking a few days break from updating this blog - you've had loads put on here even if it didn't include free wank fodder videos - but I've been drawn back to even a score!

You might recall I updated you on one of our first applicants - Gregor, way back last year after he did his audition and subsequent duo scene with another applicant a few weeks later? Well, we lost little Gregor at the second meeting - just after he'd been royally fucked by the mighty Manoj and I was a little worried when he didn't return from having dinner with his(old and weird!)boyfriend. So worried was I that I called his moby several times during the day; left emails; left messages at home and on the aforementioned moby - all of which resulted in a big fat NOTHING and nothing since!

Anyway, as it happens we've changed our serverage over the weekend which meant that I had to send an email to my contact list to tell ppl our new address etc etc and one of the ppl in this notification list was the illusive Gregor!

So (phew!) I get a reply from the girly little queen telling me that he thinks the competition is all a fake! Fucking cheek: Fake? I've aged 10 years in the last 6 months since launching this project. I've gained 2 stone in weight, developed a limp, lost partial use of my top lip and have this uncontrollable urge to shit when I hear a cockerel crow! Fucking fake from a gay man that can't get hard unless his 2,000 year old boyfriend hits him with a wardrobe; who is so passive he still doesn't get hard when he ejaculates and that's after he has to be left in a darkened room for two fucking days!

You know, I wish some people would just fuck off and stop winding me up. Oh btw Gregor, just in case you are in any doubt: YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH TO THE FINAL!

Love, Peace & Porn people; love, peace and fucking porn!

Blackpool – Kiss me Quick; Fuck me Slow! - Day 2

The next set of auditions we did – the day after – was in a swinger’s hotel in Blackpool that was very kindly offered to us for filming. It’s a straight hotel, but they are moving into the gay/bi side of things which we thought sounded interesting (Buddies is its name and you should check out if they have started the gay/bi weekends and let me know!). Anyhoo, the interior lends itself well to filming sex scenes – it has a fully padded room for group sessions that we used!

This day we filmed two guys both called James as it happened – both not bad looking although in my opinion one was way better than the other. That said, I have a feeling the better looking of the two was stoned! Either that or he thought a half-closed eyes look and vacant expression added up to a sultry-come-fuck-me look!! NOT!

That said, he looks good and I liked his body although he had a little too much hair for my taste. The other James was totally different. Very nervous (1st timer again) and only just coming to terms with his love of cock! Not a bad performance and both did well on their ‘money shots’!
All in all, I’m glad we added this extra audition date into the schedule – 5 very respectable contestants some better than others – all well worth watching!

Peace, Love & Porn

Blackpool – Kiss me Quick; Fuck me Slow! - Day 1

Just another pic of the ultra sexy Jonathan taken at the same time he was being filmed for his audition - fuck this guy is hot!!!

Jesse Santana - more pictures

Found these the other day and realised I hadn't shared them with you!

Love, Peace & Porn.

Berlin - Audition update, more pics of Marcel Schlutt

Marcel Schlutt

Thought you might like some more of this hunk of a German - I can't wait to meet him at the German Auditions.

There is talk of him doing a set of pictures of the Finalists in September as he is a fairly accomplished photographer with some of his piccies being published - mainly fashion ones but from what I've seen they are very good - more in a later update when I know more.

Peace, Love & Porn!