So like I told you, I heard back from the BLANK the other day: he finally replied to an email we sent him nearly four months go! However his recent ranting had nothing to do with our mail, apparently he has found and read the blog and to say he is pissed off would be an understatement!
I came across the emails by accident as the silly rabbit had sent his moans, groans and empty threats to our old account – I wish he would have replied via the blog page as I would have been able to share with you his pointless vexing! It appears he is pissed off at me/us as apparently we are organising a scam – what the fuck is it with faggots we don’t get on with; do they all read the same books or something? How can this fucking project – that has taken over our complete lives for the past 18months and is still current be a scam? How can a project that is still updating its website FOR FREE be a scam? How can you describe a project that is now putting in place its second year’s activity as fake? I don’t get it – how thick can some people be?
Anyway, the little twat is pissed off with the things I said about him; and it took him 4 emails over the period of one night to tell me how pissed off he was! It was like a prolonged rant that broke off from time to time to allow the keyboard to cool down; he got progressively illiterate and by the final email nothing made sense! I was nearly passing out from laughing!
The whole rant spotlighted the blog page; it made no reference to the insults I have levelled at him via the BLANK he BLANK/BLANKED for – I can’t wait till that email find its way to him, it will be like opening one of the letters Mrs Weesley sends to Ron in Harry Potter: all feathers and spitting and screams!
He is obviously a loony BLANK; he keeps interspersing his messages with sayings: ‘Don’t wake sleeping giants’ For fuck sake, what planet is this guy from – who the fuck does he think he is the fucking CIA? Well Mr Sleeping Giant, I have a saying for you: ‘Don’t fuck with a faggot!’...oh and another one has just sprung to mind: ‘Kiss my arse, motherfucker!’
LPP
XX
Wednesday 26 August 2009
Revenge is Sweet!
How many times have I said: 'Hell has no fury like a gay man scorned'?
Is this the face of Europes Next Gay Porn Star? Really, you be the judges. Tell me if you think this is the face we should invest our time and money in - you tell me if you would like to have him (his name is James btw) on your pc screens at 2.30am staring out at you as you beat your monkey until its sick?
I think James needs some encouragement and I'd be only too pleased to forward you his details so you can email/chat to each other! Just be aware he is a little tempremental and has a tendancy to say nasty things to you and then slam the phone down!
There's a lesson in this to all you potential candidates: don't apply to be Europe's Next Gay Porn Star when you are feeling horny! Chances are that when all the blood has returned from its day trip to Cocksville, you'll change your mind! My advice would be: take a day to think about what you are doing!
In the meantime .... revenge is sweet mother fuckers!
Mr Orang-utan 2009!
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So this is one of the little beauties I mentioned in my last update. This fine example of a man hails from the UK (aren't we the lucky ones!) and is wait for it...23 years old. Mr O-u-Tan thinks he is ideally suited to a life in porn, and we agree hence we forwarded his application and picture onto 'Farmyard Sluts'!
Dear God help me!
LPP
x
Tuesday 25 August 2009
Its been a while my little bum chums and I've missed you!
I’m sorry my little wank chums that I’ve been away from the nest for a while as we have been moving office and setting up a studio of sorts – sounds hard enough but when you add to the mix BSkyB, it becomes a total nightmare. How badly can a company fuck something up before it becomes personal? No joke, I was telephoning their offices so often they actually told me to stop harassing them or they would terminate our agreement!
Anyway, we are now kinda sorted – just some nice gay things to do, like furnishings etc etc and we will have a very comfortable office and studio from which to launch our demi-emipre – can’t wait!!
So, what you are going to get from me now is a daily up date so that by the time we start filming again – in 7 days – you will be fully up to date and on my level.
The website has/is still been updated – although at a slightly slower rate than normal, which is purely down to the fact that we were running out of footage to give you as we had been updating so often! But regular viewing will be restored as soon as we start the final leg of auditions next week, which will be closely followed by the Final which is being hosted from the 22 to the 25 September!
Obviously a few interesting things have happened since we took a forced holiday from you guys, all of which will be written about in full and with some very frank comments from me:
1. I heard from the BLANK. NOT a happy bunny to tell you the truth. Problem is it looks like he’s read this page and has taken offence at some of my comments. He has clearly missed the humour and high-jinks in which I wrote all about my time with him and it saddens (aka pisses me off) me that the miserable piece of shit thinks I give a flying fuck about what he thinks! The overwhelming emotion I had when I saw his email was pity which lasted all of1/8th of a nano-second. He is such a tosser. Like I’m going to stop writing about him now he’s asked me to – fuck off. I’m going to get at least 12 more blog updates out of that cunt if it kills me, and if he asks me one more time to stop mentioning him, Ill fucking name and shame the twat in full – email address and telephone number included!
2. The final two BLANK we had involved have now had their agreements come to an end – thanks fucking God! What total BLANK – the pair of them. I’m telling you, on this issue I am VERY tempted to name names – they are such wankers everyone needs to know just in case you ever approach them for involvement – unlikely I know, but there is an element of therapy for me involved in writing this blog – so put up and shut up fuckers!
3. Some of the people we auditioned have turned into gay men with cunts! I’m telling you, only in the gay world of porn could faggots who spent their lives on the dole, playing with themselves on MSN for FREE, suddenly in a global recession, decide they won’t take their clothes off for less that £600! Fucking hell, I would take my clothes off for that!
4. Big Brother. We are fans, but if any of you fuckers vote for Charlie, Ill hunt you down. He is the absolute essence of what makes me puke about gay ‘men’. GET THE FUCKER OUT! I just knew he worked in a call centre; he is perfect for it: thick, arrogant and stupid!
5. Daytime TV. I think it should be banned. It’s like a drug; it lulls you into a comforted state with its one-ff programmes and the next thing you know you’re recording the whole fucking series – it’s VERY dangerous!
6. We are launching our own site in the New Year: Cock on the Road, so Ill fill you in on more details about that over the next few weeks. I might be able to show you some previews – I’ll ask! Its different to ENGPS – yes, the lads are ‘boy-next-door’ types, yes the lads will be from Europe, but the best bit is they will be fucking in real places as we travel about with the project – we are trying to make it the contestant’s first paid jobs!
7. Contestant who need medicating! I know we only have ourselves to blame for hosting a project inviting members of the public to send in their details in the hopes they will break through into the gay porn market. I know we are inviting weirdo's to take a pot-shot at us/our site and our nearest and dearest but dear lordy lord, even I wasn't prepared for the latest applications we got through. I'm just wondeing if a new magazine has been launched: 'WindowLickers Unite'? One of them looks like a shaved orang-utan and the other one looks reasonably hot, but when I spoke to him he was pissed off 'coz I didn't want to buy drugs and made me fear for my life! - I'm telling you friends, you really need to spend a few days living my life: its weird!
Anyway, we are now kinda sorted – just some nice gay things to do, like furnishings etc etc and we will have a very comfortable office and studio from which to launch our demi-emipre – can’t wait!!
So, what you are going to get from me now is a daily up date so that by the time we start filming again – in 7 days – you will be fully up to date and on my level.
The website has/is still been updated – although at a slightly slower rate than normal, which is purely down to the fact that we were running out of footage to give you as we had been updating so often! But regular viewing will be restored as soon as we start the final leg of auditions next week, which will be closely followed by the Final which is being hosted from the 22 to the 25 September!
Obviously a few interesting things have happened since we took a forced holiday from you guys, all of which will be written about in full and with some very frank comments from me:
1. I heard from the BLANK. NOT a happy bunny to tell you the truth. Problem is it looks like he’s read this page and has taken offence at some of my comments. He has clearly missed the humour and high-jinks in which I wrote all about my time with him and it saddens (aka pisses me off) me that the miserable piece of shit thinks I give a flying fuck about what he thinks! The overwhelming emotion I had when I saw his email was pity which lasted all of1/8th of a nano-second. He is such a tosser. Like I’m going to stop writing about him now he’s asked me to – fuck off. I’m going to get at least 12 more blog updates out of that cunt if it kills me, and if he asks me one more time to stop mentioning him, Ill fucking name and shame the twat in full – email address and telephone number included!
2. The final two BLANK we had involved have now had their agreements come to an end – thanks fucking God! What total BLANK – the pair of them. I’m telling you, on this issue I am VERY tempted to name names – they are such wankers everyone needs to know just in case you ever approach them for involvement – unlikely I know, but there is an element of therapy for me involved in writing this blog – so put up and shut up fuckers!
3. Some of the people we auditioned have turned into gay men with cunts! I’m telling you, only in the gay world of porn could faggots who spent their lives on the dole, playing with themselves on MSN for FREE, suddenly in a global recession, decide they won’t take their clothes off for less that £600! Fucking hell, I would take my clothes off for that!
4. Big Brother. We are fans, but if any of you fuckers vote for Charlie, Ill hunt you down. He is the absolute essence of what makes me puke about gay ‘men’. GET THE FUCKER OUT! I just knew he worked in a call centre; he is perfect for it: thick, arrogant and stupid!
5. Daytime TV. I think it should be banned. It’s like a drug; it lulls you into a comforted state with its one-ff programmes and the next thing you know you’re recording the whole fucking series – it’s VERY dangerous!
6. We are launching our own site in the New Year: Cock on the Road, so Ill fill you in on more details about that over the next few weeks. I might be able to show you some previews – I’ll ask! Its different to ENGPS – yes, the lads are ‘boy-next-door’ types, yes the lads will be from Europe, but the best bit is they will be fucking in real places as we travel about with the project – we are trying to make it the contestant’s first paid jobs!
7. Contestant who need medicating! I know we only have ourselves to blame for hosting a project inviting members of the public to send in their details in the hopes they will break through into the gay porn market. I know we are inviting weirdo's to take a pot-shot at us/our site and our nearest and dearest but dear lordy lord, even I wasn't prepared for the latest applications we got through. I'm just wondeing if a new magazine has been launched: 'WindowLickers Unite'? One of them looks like a shaved orang-utan and the other one looks reasonably hot, but when I spoke to him he was pissed off 'coz I didn't want to buy drugs and made me fear for my life! - I'm telling you friends, you really need to spend a few days living my life: its weird!
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