BLANKS

Some of you may have noticed the appearance of some BLANKS in the updates Ive posted - its weird I know, but I had an objection from someone who works/ed for a company that was involved with the project recently - phew!
They screamed at me, called me lots of nasty names (as I did too!) and I caved in. The thing that really motivated me was a statement used: the objector said that 'He controlled the Press in America' (it was later changed to 'He controlled the GAY Press in America'). Well, Im not big enough or strong enough to take on someone who '..controls the press' regardless of where in the world this control is based! Hell no, I know when Im beat!
So, rather than have our little European project blacklisted by the whole of the press in one of the largest countries in the world; rather than have our name, the name of our company; project and contestants appear on some 'Print them and Die' list, I though it better to just blank out any reference to the person/company and country - call it my good deed for the day!
For now that is!

Dont wake sleeping giants!

So like I told you, I heard back from the BLANK the other day: he finally replied to an email we sent him nearly four months go! However his recent ranting had nothing to do with our mail, apparently he has found and read the blog and to say he is pissed off would be an understatement!
I came across the emails by accident as the silly rabbit had sent his moans, groans and empty threats to our old account – I wish he would have replied via the blog page as I would have been able to share with you his pointless vexing! It appears he is pissed off at me/us as apparently we are organising a scam – what the fuck is it with faggots we don’t get on with; do they all read the same books or something? How can this fucking project – that has taken over our complete lives for the past 18months and is still current be a scam? How can a project that is still updating its website FOR FREE be a scam? How can you describe a project that is now putting in place its second year’s activity as fake? I don’t get it – how thick can some people be?
Anyway, the little twat is pissed off with the things I said about him; and it took him 4 emails over the period of one night to tell me how pissed off he was! It was like a prolonged rant that broke off from time to time to allow the keyboard to cool down; he got progressively illiterate and by the final email nothing made sense! I was nearly passing out from laughing!
The whole rant spotlighted the blog page; it made no reference to the insults I have levelled at him via the BLANK he BLANK/BLANKED for – I can’t wait till that email find its way to him, it will be like opening one of the letters Mrs Weesley sends to Ron in Harry Potter: all feathers and spitting and screams!
He is obviously a loony BLANK; he keeps interspersing his messages with sayings: ‘Don’t wake sleeping giants’ For fuck sake, what planet is this guy from – who the fuck does he think he is the fucking CIA? Well Mr Sleeping Giant, I have a saying for you: ‘Don’t fuck with a faggot!’...oh and another one has just sprung to mind: ‘Kiss my arse, motherfucker!’
LPP
XX

Its been a while my little bum chums and I've missed you!

I’m sorry my little wank chums that I’ve been away from the nest for a while as we have been moving office and setting up a studio of sorts – sounds hard enough but when you add to the mix BSkyB, it becomes a total nightmare. How badly can a company fuck something up before it becomes personal? No joke, I was telephoning their offices so often they actually told me to stop harassing them or they would terminate our agreement!
Anyway, we are now kinda sorted – just some nice gay things to do, like furnishings etc etc and we will have a very comfortable office and studio from which to launch our demi-emipre – can’t wait!!
So, what you are going to get from me now is a daily up date so that by the time we start filming again – in 7 days – you will be fully up to date and on my level.
The website has/is still been updated – although at a slightly slower rate than normal, which is purely down to the fact that we were running out of footage to give you as we had been updating so often! But regular viewing will be restored as soon as we start the final leg of auditions next week, which will be closely followed by the Final which is being hosted from the 22 to the 25 September!
Obviously a few interesting things have happened since we took a forced holiday from you guys, all of which will be written about in full and with some very frank comments from me:
1. I heard from the BLANK. NOT a happy bunny to tell you the truth. Problem is it looks like he’s read this page and has taken offence at some of my comments. He has clearly missed the humour and high-jinks in which I wrote all about my time with him and it saddens (aka pisses me off) me that the miserable piece of shit thinks I give a flying fuck about what he thinks! The overwhelming emotion I had when I saw his email was pity which lasted all of1/8th of a nano-second. He is such a tosser. Like I’m going to stop writing about him now he’s asked me to – fuck off. I’m going to get at least 12 more blog updates out of that cunt if it kills me, and if he asks me one more time to stop mentioning him, Ill fucking name and shame the twat in full – email address and telephone number included!
2. The final two BLANK we had involved have now had their agreements come to an end – thanks fucking God! What total BLANK – the pair of them. I’m telling you, on this issue I am VERY tempted to name names – they are such wankers everyone needs to know just in case you ever approach them for involvement – unlikely I know, but there is an element of therapy for me involved in writing this blog – so put up and shut up fuckers!
3. Some of the people we auditioned have turned into gay men with cunts! I’m telling you, only in the gay world of porn could faggots who spent their lives on the dole, playing with themselves on MSN for FREE, suddenly in a global recession, decide they won’t take their clothes off for less that £600! Fucking hell, I would take my clothes off for that!
4. Big Brother. We are fans, but if any of you fuckers vote for Charlie, Ill hunt you down. He is the absolute essence of what makes me puke about gay ‘men’. GET THE FUCKER OUT! I just knew he worked in a call centre; he is perfect for it: thick, arrogant and stupid!
5. Daytime TV. I think it should be banned. It’s like a drug; it lulls you into a comforted state with its one-ff programmes and the next thing you know you’re recording the whole fucking series – it’s VERY dangerous!
6. We are launching our own site in the New Year: Cock on the Road, so Ill fill you in on more details about that over the next few weeks. I might be able to show you some previews – I’ll ask! Its different to ENGPS – yes, the lads are ‘boy-next-door’ types, yes the lads will be from Europe, but the best bit is they will be fucking in real places as we travel about with the project – we are trying to make it the contestant’s first paid jobs!
7. Contestant who need medicating! I know we only have ourselves to blame for hosting a project inviting members of the public to send in their details in the hopes they will break through into the gay porn market. I know we are inviting weirdo's to take a pot-shot at us/our site and our nearest and dearest but dear lordy lord, even I wasn't prepared for the latest applications we got through. I'm just wondeing if a new magazine has been launched: 'WindowLickers Unite'? One of them looks like a shaved orang-utan and the other one looks reasonably hot, but when I spoke to him he was pissed off 'coz I didn't want to buy drugs and made me fear for my life! - I'm telling you friends, you really need to spend a few days living my life: its weird!

Sponsors – Yet another one bites the dust!

As some of you might already know – I’m not a huge fan of some of our old sponsors and this section is like a valve on the pressure cooker of ENGPS! Well my little bum-chums, I’m taking the opportunity to let off some more steam and vent my delight at yet another cunt faced sponsor biting the dust!

Yep, as of the 1st of July, we no longer have the pointless involvement of the BLANK that were responsible for sending me that pasty-faced, pot smoking cunt of a BLANK, and I’ve just sobered up from celebrating their demise. I know its nasty to say, and I’m sure my karma will suffer, but fuck it: I hope they suffer, I’m not choosy about how – unemployment/illness/family bereavement – whatever, just make it long, slow and public (or at least make sure I hear of it!).

The problem I have is their BLANK(another mysterious BLANK that doesn't name BLANK on the website or ever appear on BLANK) also owns a BLANK in the BLANK and they have the licence for BLANK, so every time I hear it I’m reminded of the thick, fagotty, tit-faced BLANK. One very good reason not to own a BLANK!

Anyway, one more BLANK hits the deck – just one more to go and I’m counting the days!

Peace, Love, Porn
(FYI: This section does not involve Eurocreme or Alphamale!LOL)

ENGPS Day 1

Amsterdam – alone and not even high!

We were on our way back home from Amsterdam a while ago –we’ve been loads of times and LOVE it – and we were on the same flight as Kerry Katona travelling with her then bf Mark. I thought she was a total diva – loud, ‘I’m a celebrity, look at me..don’t look’, rude, ignorant and ugly without make-up. It was funny as we were travelling Easyjet and she’d really pushed the boat out and upgraded to ‘Speedy Boarding’! Best thing was, when they took their seats on the plane they took the very front row as they thought they would be reserved for celebs – NOT! They were the disabled seats reserved for cripples! LOL

I always think of her when I talk about Amsterdam –I don’t mind really as I quite like her even if I did laugh at her expense. Anyway, this has nothing to do with the last time we were in Amsterdam! We were hosting the Netherlands auditions in October last year – yep the nob-head BLANK was with us even if we didn’t see him for the whole trip – thank God!

No joke – this was the quickest audition trip we had made – two days and 8 applicants. Not one of them turned up, not even the two performers who had been sent from BLANK – BLANK – to act as Judges showed up for any auditions. I honestly think everyone was so whacked out from the UK, Germany and CZ visits they all just hit the cafes and smoked themselves high for two days! I wish we fucking well had!

Anyhoo, we are re-visiting Amsterdam and the Netherlands – personally I really like the Dutch guys – in June, this time with the very fuckable Eurocreme twink Philippe Delvaux (I wonder if we could get him high and play with his cock without him objecting or demanding cash?) So if any of you are reading this and wanna apply – maybe try your luck with Philippe – get filling out the application form:

http://www.europesnextgaypornstar.com/members_area/Apply.html

FYI: We never got to meet any of the BLANK during or after this trip – which was a little of a shame as BLANK and BLANK were nice guys. Their BLANK was a total loser – I know its sick but I was following the papers during this time to see if he had clashed with anyone else and ended up in one of the canals – alas not!

Love, Peace & Porn

Jesse Santana - more pictures

Found these the other day and realised I hadn't shared them with you!

Love, Peace & Porn.

Prague – a shitty city!

It’s been a while since we stepped foot in this generally highly regarded city of architecture and historical beauty and I would like to say that over the last 7 months, I’ve been too traumatised by our last visit to write, but that would be a lie:

Sure, my recollection of Prague is that it’s a vile city, full of vile people who live their vile lives ripping off tourists and I for one will never step foot in the CZ again. Sure, from the moment we arrived at the filthy, grubby, mainline station and realised that we would have to pay 6 times the going rate for a taxi because our idiot travel sponsor had booked us into some shit-hole of a hotel (that’s a laugh!) in a suburb miles from anywhere, that our time in Prague was not going to be a happy one.

It’s true; I had a bitch fight with a tosser of a BLANK in the aforementioned station because I had packed the address of the aforementioned shit-hole of a hotel in my luggage and as ‘..I worked for BLANK..’ I should have arrived prepared and in secretarial mode! (Believe me when I say that the one thing I really regret about this episode is not decking that BLANK, BLANK, BLANK, BLANK, BLANK – and what make it even worse is that I know that mistake will cost me thousands in therapy!).

It’s true, that when we arrived in the hell-hole of all hotels and one of their vile staff/escorts/house-boys/weirdo friends nicked some of our staging equipment! It’s true that when we visited the venue for the auditions ‘One of the Premier gay nightspots in Prague’ (their words not ours) our feet stuck to its floor.

I could go on, but I can sense you are ‘fogging-over’!

No, the truth about why it’s taken me so long to update you on Prague is because very little of note happened there: we secured two applicants – one from the hotel and one from the PA we did – the latter was on a promise of a blow-job from one of the BLANK we had travelling with us!

No, Prague was shit. Its people, in my opinion/experience will do anything for money – shag you, their brother, your mother, their granny and we didn’t feel anyone we met – applicant, studio, performer that originated from the CZ were up to the standards we were looking for and YOU - the public deserve.

Peace, Love (kinda) & Porn!

ENGPS Auditions: The prolog!

The thing that attracted me to the porn industry was what I thought was its honesty and matter-of-fact attitude to life and sex. I knew my way around a porn site; I knew who some of the major players were in the profession - in fact I’d met a few of them - and I knew most, if not all the scenes were fiction. I was under no illusion that porn - gay or straight - was a business: That its mission in life was to make entertainment that made money – quickly and in copious amounts!

What I was unaware of was the wide spread bitchiness between studios; the existence of a ‘casting couch’ attitude that some studio owners have; the inability of some performers NOT to leave their self-created complicated private lives at the studio door and finally the weirdo’s the industry attracts!

Well, I’m aware of them now - and in some cases they are aware that I’m aware! (I’ll explain in later updates!).

I met all the above at the first set of auditions in Manchester, UK. Every one of them came through the door during that weekend. To be honest the only thing that didn’t come through the door at those auditions was contestants: 18 to be exact! EIGHT bloody TEEN! (Bollocks to peace and love - I want revenge!).

I had BLANK that looked like they hadn’t eaten for years and had survived without sunlight since their chord was cut; I had journalists that were so excited about meeting some of the Jury, they practically pissed themselves when spoken to; I had Chief Operating Officers spilling the beans on what their owners like to get up to with the studios latest performer; I had major ‘gay’ porn stars giving out their number to any and all women they met; I had seedy nightclub promoters that thought a bottle of cheap champagne bought them the right to be your mate and shag your co-workers; I had famine and fucking disease that weekend!

I also had a great project!…..No shite project would attract this many weirdo’s. No shite project would have attracted the support of so many well known names. No shite project would have secured sponsorship from industry veterans. No, we had a winner in Manchester even if some applicants were too full of shite to turn up, and I have the weirdo’s to thank for proving that to me!

What we DIDN’T have that weekend was the honesty I was hoping for from an industry that really doesn’t need to lie. What we DIDN’T have that weekend was the respect from the industry that should be afforded adults - guys, we know it’s not real, we don’t care if the guys shagging in your films like to say they are straight, we don’t care if they have girlfriends or wives, its porn, ITS NOT REAL LIFE!!

So, I now have a new mission to add to my long list of obligations in executing the organisation of Europe’s Next Gay Porn Star: I’M BRINGING HONESTY BACK (ENGPS/Timberlake porno re-mix)

Peace, Love & Porn….Honestly!

Luke Hamill from Bel Ami joins UK Jury

Luke Hamill, the blonde God from Bel Ami flew into Manchester last October to join the ENGPS team as a Judge for the UK auditions of Europe’s Next Gay Porn Star. He was joined by a few other employees of the Duroy empire, one of which was the barely recognisable Johan Paulik (’Johan is dead’ has to be the best quote from the man himself - he’s not btw, he was referring to his performing persona!)
Anyway back to the blonde God that is Luke: He has amazing skin - I know it’s weird, I know I was staring, but he does, it’s flawless, its friggin flawless. The guy can pose like his life depends on it and when he’s in front of the camera and smiles whilst exposing his abs you have no choice but to stare open mouthed - well I did just prior to passing out!
His English isn’t great - better than my Czech, but he got by with some help from the recently deceased Mr Paulik! To be honest, I felt sorry for some of the applicants: here we were in Manchester, all studio’ed up in a great apartment in the city centre: After passing through check-in and the obligatory ID checks, they then had to pose for ID pics in front of the whole team. Then they were told to be ready for an interview and finally they were asked to wank off in private with just the producer and a cameraman (most at this point lost all fake colour they had!).
After the pep-talk they were ushered into the audition room only to be face with the panel that included Luke, Jesse Santana and Guy Parker - I’d have just pukked up at that point, called it my party trick and left! (FYI: I wonder how many had wanked off to these performers in their bedroom and then how many would google them after the audition and wank off again?).
Now, however great Luke Hamill is, and he is great - I think he was simply too rich for Mancunian blood: we tend to like our porn stars with some flaws!

Love, Peace & Porn

Jesse Santana from Cockyboys

Jesse Santana, CockyBoys exclusive, joined the team at ENGPS as a Jury member in the first round of auditions to find the next best thing in gay porn. The Texan performer, who is well known for his bubble butt and pouting look, lead the jury in their deliberations in the UK, Germany and Czech Republic.

After meeting him for the first time in Manchester - after a God knows how many hour journey from Dallas, Texas to join us - Jesse came across as a little sullen, but I think that was due to his genuine shyness and the fact he’d been booked to do the judging by CockyBoys (one of the major sponsors of the whole project) with his recently ex-boyfriend Guy Parker - we all know how difficult being civil to our ex’s can be!! I for one prefer the ‘Fuck-em-and-chuck-em’ mentality. I don’t subscribe to this ‘right-on’ attitude of being mates with your ex - I switch from a love to a hate emotion overnight - but hey, that’s me!

As the trip progressed, it became clear that Jesse really is nice - as is Guy - very professional and totally at ease with his job. One thing that definitely came across was his sexuality; there is something about him that makes you believe he could fuck for England - so to speak!

Anyway, enjoy the pictures - I have several sets of Jesse that I will upload from time to time: the ones with Luke Hamill from Bel Ami are great, especially when you realize they were taken just after Luke had fucked the life out of Jesse for a short CockyBoys/Bel Ami collaboration film!

Love, Peace, Porn

Guy Parker from CockyBoys

Guy Parker from Cockyboys and ex-boyfriend of Jesse Santana joined the ENGPS team as Jury member for the first round of auditions last October.

I’m telling you: there is nothing about this ‘guy’ you could dislike. He sounds like he looks - a little husky & acts like he performs - all bouncy and full of life (I didn’t know he was called ‘Bam-Bam’ and that he was given this nickname due to his energy whilst performing, but I can see why!)

The poor guy had to share a bedroom with Jesse throughout the trip - not easy when you realise they had just recently split up and Guy was still licking his wounds - that said, he won’t be single for long; his character is infectious!

Anyway his Texan drawl and sincerity was appreciated by all of the ENGPS team as was his gymnastic ability! Enjoy the first set of Guy’s pictures; they were taken at the UK auditions in Manchester. The photographer decided to kill sometime between contestant no-shows (and believe me there were quite a few of those - bastards! I’ll save the moans about that for another entry as I’ll need at least a page to list the people that pissed me off: don’t you know by now that I’m one of those people who NEVER forgets!)

Love, Peace & Porn

BENT Magazine

QXMen Magazine September 2008

Hustlaball, Berlin 2008

Bel Ami twins Elijah & Milo entertained the crowd at the Press Launch for ENGPS 08 hosted at the Kitkat Club Berlin, home of the Hustlaball in October last year.

Is it me, or is there something not quite right when your brother sticks his hand down the front of your pants? I know I was educated in the Catholic way of life - but even the priest stopped at making brothers shag each other!

That said, I can’t deny they can perform in front of the camera and look great if thats what floats your boat. Personally I prefer less muscle and more body hair, but they are the pride and joy of Bel Ami so I guess thats never gonna happen! - oh bring back Dano Sulik!

After all this posing - and take my word for it, it went on and on and on….! We all retired to the VIP lounge upstairs and OMG, the things that went on in the toilet with those two boys and another guest of ours! I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you all!

L, P & P