Its been a while my little bum chums and I've missed you!

I’m sorry my little wank chums that I’ve been away from the nest for a while as we have been moving office and setting up a studio of sorts – sounds hard enough but when you add to the mix BSkyB, it becomes a total nightmare. How badly can a company fuck something up before it becomes personal? No joke, I was telephoning their offices so often they actually told me to stop harassing them or they would terminate our agreement!
Anyway, we are now kinda sorted – just some nice gay things to do, like furnishings etc etc and we will have a very comfortable office and studio from which to launch our demi-emipre – can’t wait!!
So, what you are going to get from me now is a daily up date so that by the time we start filming again – in 7 days – you will be fully up to date and on my level.
The website has/is still been updated – although at a slightly slower rate than normal, which is purely down to the fact that we were running out of footage to give you as we had been updating so often! But regular viewing will be restored as soon as we start the final leg of auditions next week, which will be closely followed by the Final which is being hosted from the 22 to the 25 September!
Obviously a few interesting things have happened since we took a forced holiday from you guys, all of which will be written about in full and with some very frank comments from me:
1. I heard from the BLANK. NOT a happy bunny to tell you the truth. Problem is it looks like he’s read this page and has taken offence at some of my comments. He has clearly missed the humour and high-jinks in which I wrote all about my time with him and it saddens (aka pisses me off) me that the miserable piece of shit thinks I give a flying fuck about what he thinks! The overwhelming emotion I had when I saw his email was pity which lasted all of1/8th of a nano-second. He is such a tosser. Like I’m going to stop writing about him now he’s asked me to – fuck off. I’m going to get at least 12 more blog updates out of that cunt if it kills me, and if he asks me one more time to stop mentioning him, Ill fucking name and shame the twat in full – email address and telephone number included!
2. The final two BLANK we had involved have now had their agreements come to an end – thanks fucking God! What total BLANK – the pair of them. I’m telling you, on this issue I am VERY tempted to name names – they are such wankers everyone needs to know just in case you ever approach them for involvement – unlikely I know, but there is an element of therapy for me involved in writing this blog – so put up and shut up fuckers!
3. Some of the people we auditioned have turned into gay men with cunts! I’m telling you, only in the gay world of porn could faggots who spent their lives on the dole, playing with themselves on MSN for FREE, suddenly in a global recession, decide they won’t take their clothes off for less that £600! Fucking hell, I would take my clothes off for that!
4. Big Brother. We are fans, but if any of you fuckers vote for Charlie, Ill hunt you down. He is the absolute essence of what makes me puke about gay ‘men’. GET THE FUCKER OUT! I just knew he worked in a call centre; he is perfect for it: thick, arrogant and stupid!
5. Daytime TV. I think it should be banned. It’s like a drug; it lulls you into a comforted state with its one-ff programmes and the next thing you know you’re recording the whole fucking series – it’s VERY dangerous!
6. We are launching our own site in the New Year: Cock on the Road, so Ill fill you in on more details about that over the next few weeks. I might be able to show you some previews – I’ll ask! Its different to ENGPS – yes, the lads are ‘boy-next-door’ types, yes the lads will be from Europe, but the best bit is they will be fucking in real places as we travel about with the project – we are trying to make it the contestant’s first paid jobs!
7. Contestant who need medicating! I know we only have ourselves to blame for hosting a project inviting members of the public to send in their details in the hopes they will break through into the gay porn market. I know we are inviting weirdo's to take a pot-shot at us/our site and our nearest and dearest but dear lordy lord, even I wasn't prepared for the latest applications we got through. I'm just wondeing if a new magazine has been launched: 'WindowLickers Unite'? One of them looks like a shaved orang-utan and the other one looks reasonably hot, but when I spoke to him he was pissed off 'coz I didn't want to buy drugs and made me fear for my life! - I'm telling you friends, you really need to spend a few days living my life: its weird!